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Super Bowl XLIX – 2015 — Insights From The Chef — BULLIES ON THE FIELD

You can be PROUD to be American.

Well, what a game!  Sometimes the Super Bowl is a blow out due to a team getting lucky in one playoff game.  There are many reasons why the big game ends up not being even close to the best of the year.  We all know this and look forward to the years when the Superbowl is an even match, where we are kept riding the game until the last moment.  Tonight our hopes were realized.  This one was a great game!

The American Superbowl is a national holiday.  We make special foods.  We get together with friends and family. Go to annual parties or throw one ourselves. We have pride in our country and our national sport.  Kids are all over the place playing football.  It’s almost like another 4th of July.  We barbecue and use it as an excuse to drink and eat a bit too much. American Football is a video game we all play together for one day, and we Americans love our video games!

We also love a good story of a local American man making a difference in our favorite pastime for his family.  Chris Matthews of Kentucky going from working 2 jobs (Foot Locker and a security guard somewhere), to the instant, unknown hero of the big game … now that’s a good American hero story.

We love a hero’s journey.  It’s one day, like the 4th, when we can be proud to be American.

This Superbowl was one for the books.  Too many to count AMAZING plays, calls, ‘did-you-just-fucking-see-that‘ moments in this one.  It was so much fun to watch.

That is, until the last 2 plays when the Seahawks decided to start a brawl and the Patriots joined right in.  When I read about a soccer (the original football) field brawl in Ireland or the like, it is usually the fans who get into some shit with each other.

Tonight these ‘players-gangsters-thugs’ decided to make complete asses of themselves at the end of the game.  They suddenly turned into street-dogs, pushing, punching and throwing each other around.  Hey, FUCK YOU.

I can’t believe I got up early and made special food for these BULLIES.  I can’t believe I made a special trip to the (packed!) market for this day, fighting the crowds, the traffic.  I can’t believe I bothered to schedule my day around this group of abusive thugs and their show.  I also can’t believe there were so many of them involved in this fight.  How embarrassing.

What amazes me most is the fact that these men are such big pieces of shit posing as heroes.  Really?  You can’t take winning or losing like a man.  Really?  You can’t just walk away from a bully.  Really?  You’re grown men with an incredible amount of money for playing a game you love, and you can’t seem to celebrate and allow the winning team to revel in their victory.  Just because someone starts some shit does not mean you have to join them in their abuse.  What the fuck is wrong with these men?  There is just no excuse for what happened at the end of this game.  I am disgusted.  What a bunch of thugs and bullies.

I am pissed.  Never again will I get up early on a Sunday and start cooking for this national pastime holiday.  They are not worth it.  Never again will I tune into this show.  Never again will I go out of my way for a game filled with nothing but street thugs.  It’s one thing for a couple of dogs to get into a fight.  You’re grown, thinking adult human men!!  What the fuck is wrong with you?!

If this is the role modeling for the next generation of athletes, we are in deeper shit than I imagined … and I imagine some pretty deep shit.  We are drowning in it.

Back to the norm — Embarrassed to be an American.  At least it’s a familiar feeling.  Fucking thugs.  Thanks for nothin.

Happy Superbowl Day.

PS.  If you find yourself excusing or justifying this travesty at the end of the game. that’s okay.  I reject it soundly. Just the fact that we try to rationalize it is enough to declare it a sham.

I declare that we can rationalize it all we want but that in no way changes the facts.  They are a bunch of street thugs and bullies and there is no justification for what just went down.  We may be desensitized to violence but this is far more than that.  If I had a son, I would fear for his future.

Oh but, Happy Superbowl Day.  Twill be my last.  How depressing.  Like a craps game that has lost it’s hot thrower, I am out.  Tip the dealer for the ride but that table is spent.

— Laura Tompkins

10 Comments

President Barack Obama Is Out Of Fucks

A quick share from a kindred spirit.  After the State Of The Union address last night, we the people now know … the leader of the free world is plum out of fucks.  Enjoy and Happy New Year!

https://medium.com/@bendreyfuss/barack-obama-is-out-of-fucks-592606919932

— Laura Tompkins

13 Comments

I Have Had Enough — Have You? Stay Away From The ‘Program’ AA.

The Small Book — by Jack Trimpey.

Are you convinced that you have a drinking problem and need to abstain from alcohol but are finding it difficult?  Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?  How many times are you going to make the promise of change to yourself only to break that promise?  Have you had enough?  Is this AA cult religion ‘program’ doing you more harm than good?  Yes?
That is because AA is designed to keep you dependent on IT, rather than on YOU.

Not everyone needs to abstain from alcohol forever.  You know if you are best in abstinence or moderation. Sometimes, the choice changes from one to the other over time.  For either choice, The Small Book by Jack Trimpey will give you insight into how your inner voice can and does sabotage your efforts … and how to change that by using it.

You CAN trust your own thinking.  You are NOT alone.  You do NOT need to attend dis-empowering, mind-fuck, thought-stopping religious meetings for the rest of your life.  You have all the power to keep your promises to yourself and to those you love.  Start here.

The following is an example from a man who used The Small Book to help him finally find his freedom.  With permission, I share it with you.  Enjoy!  (And please, if you appreciate this, share it on facebook and wherever you share on social media.  I have had a hacking abuse situation and am no longer a member of facebook.  Thank you!)

“I found my way to a dead chat-room with a single person in it… “Sunflowerx41” I think it was…

Gunthar2000: Hello.
Sunflowerx41: Hello.

Gunthar2000: Are you in recovery?
Sunflowerx41: 10 years.

Gunthar2000: I can’t seem to get it right.
Sunflowerx41: Get what right?

Gunthar2000: The program.
Sunflowerx41: Ahhh… The program… Have you tried anything else?

Gunthar2000: I tried quitting on my own, but it never works. My whole life is a mess.
Sunflowerx41: Do you read books?

Gunthar2000: Yes I do. My favorite book is The Grapes of Wrath. I like to read stuff from that period. Steinbeck is a genius! Have you read it?
Sunflowerx41: Read The Small Book by Jack Trimpey.

Gunthar2000: What’s it about? Someone online suggested that I should read The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino. I read it, but it was too mooshy-gooshy for me. Have you read it?
Sunflowerx41: Are you drinking right now?

Gunthar2000: I’m at the library… I’m drunk, if that’s what you’re asking.
Sunflowerx41: Do you have a piece of paper?

Gunthar2000: Hold on a sec.
Gunthar2000: Got it.

Sunflowerx41: Write this down.
Sunflowerx41: The Small Book by Jack Trimpey.
Gunthar2000: Okay… What’s it like?

Sunflowerx41: It’s about quitting drinking… Have you had enough?
Gunthar2000: Yup… My life is all fucked up.

Sunflowerx41: Then read the book. It changed my life. I’ve been sober for 10 years in May. Hey listen… I have to go. The brood is acting up. I was just like you. You can quit drinking if you want to… just get that book and read it. Write it down and put it in your pocket in case you forget. I have to go. Good luck.

Gunthar2000: Thanks. What’s it about?

Sunflowerx41: I have to go.

Sunflowerx41: Bye.

Gunthar2000: Bye.

It would be another three or four years before I’d finally put the bottle down, but that day… that encounter in a chat-room… and that book have changed my life for the better.

A Vision for Me

I’m not gonna get into the specifics about how I quit drinking, because frankly, I don’t think you should give a shit. I can sum it up in two words… “Individualized Recovery.” That means my recovery is based on my needs, and nobody else’s. What I did to stop drinking is as likely to help you stop drinking as it is likely my shoes will fit comfortably on your feet… and the same goes for AA’s 12 steps.

I don’t know about you, but in my case, Bill Wilson’s shoes hurt the hell out of my feet and gave me blisters. It was like trying to walk with bear-traps on my ankles.

My point here is that there is no single method that works for everyone. We are all unique people, with unique challenges, and unique needs. Recovery depends on your ability to identify your own issues and solve your own problems. I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t use every available resource to help you identify your problems and recover from alcoholism. I’m saying that when AA hands you a plate full of shit and tells you that you have to eat it if you want to recover, it’s okay to say, “That ain’t my plate full of shit, and those ain’t my problems.”

If there were any steps involved at all in my recovery, leaving AA was the first. And so, I left AA and I recovered from my battle with booze. I was able to do this, in large part, due to that chance encounter, in that empty chat-room long ago.

Half Steps

Leaving AA was not easy for me. I’d spent the better part of 16 years or so bouncing in and out of dirty church basements looking for an answer. Although I couldn’t call anyone at AA a close friend, besides my family and a fleeting romance here and there, AA members were the only acquaintances that I had. When I told my AA friends that I was thinking about seeking outside help they quickly assured me that I would drink again. And so, I tossed around in the surf. Alcoholics Anonymous had become a mind fuck that ebbed and broke like crescent waves through my entire existence. Without those people, I couldn’t even figure out who the fuck I was. They had defined me, and I had depended on their approval in order to justify myself. The only way to be accepted was to subscribe to the doctrine. They had prescribed a one size fit’s all personality profile and told me that if I didn’t find a way to fit it I would die.

And here was this book… this little rant that introduced me to the idea that it was okay to think for myself again. I devoured that book like God eats lobster, and when I was finished, I knew that something big had happened. It felt like stepping back into my-self. Somewhere along the line I had renounced myself. I had taken up Bill Wilson’s cross and followed Alcoholics Anonymous out into the wilderness and there I found no manna to sustain. And so I left the tribe and there along my path stood a sign that read, “This Way to You.”

If I hadn’t found the answer to my drinking problem, I was sure of one thing. Alcoholics Anonymous was not helping me… it was hurting me.

“But what about those nice people… the ones who’ve devoted so much time to trying to help you?”… I asked myself.
“Surely Jack and Mary, Dave and Roy meant you no harm.”
“You were the one who failed, not them.”

And I went back, and I went back again seeking their approval… trying my best to “take what I needed and leave the rest.”

It took a while, but the truth did finally sink in… There is no “take what you need and leave the rest.” AA is all or nothing. You are either in AA, or you are out of AA… There is no in between. There is no splicing the doctrine. There is no yourself.

I left AA in early September of 2006.

September 22nd, I put the bottle down.

I haven’t had a drop since.”
—  Gunthar

Thank you again to Donald for permission to share this.  “I devoured that book like God eats lobster.”  My favorite line.  Genius!

— Laura Tompkins

8 Comments

Selma — The Insane Reasons Behind The Paraphrasing MLK Speeches

I have a dream.  Great films change our lives.  Films remind us of events from our past that still affect us today.  Films bring us back to childhood, help us to realize how long-held beliefs about ourselves and our world are serving us, or how these beliefs may be blocking our way to goals and dreams.  Films enlighten us.  Films, at the very least, allow us to have emotions and feelings that we may otherwise be too busy, (or incapable of expressing), with our lives … to allow for ourselves in the dark safety of a theatre or our living room.  Of course, the power of film may be short-lived but deep in our consciousness, we have the experience of a great film forever with us.  “Oh Captain, my captain.”

Cable TV has also become similar in this respect to films due to the excellent work being produced.  If you have gotten into Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire or Shameless, to name just a few, you know the joy from these series’ and the stories they tell.  We talk about the characters like we know them.  We sit down with our loved ones and share the experience of viewing the shows. They, like films, are events for us that we take with us.  I don’t know about you but me and my man are still mourning the loss of Newsroom.

Many people like to criticize Aaron Sorkin for being too ‘preachy.’  Errrrr, no.  Sorkin is pure genius.  He does not need the politics of a cable network to express his vision of our world.  Newsroom was nothing short of epic storytelling that ended up being too much of a political mess with which to deal.  I don’t blame him for walking away.  I will still always miss what could have, and should have been, in Newsroom.

The politics of the ‘biz’ are fierce and nasty.  Sorkin has better fish to fry with a biopic film based on the incredibly revealing Walter Isaacson biography about the late, great, mad genius Steve Jobs — book entitled simply Jobs.  They have cast Michael Fassbender as Jobs (brilliant choice), and I am so looking forward to this film.  You see, Sorkin may be difficult for some people to understand.  Sorkin may be demanding and unwilling to allow compromise to the powers that be to steer his work.  I blame him not.

What Aaron Sorkin is most is a genius, just like Steve Jobs.  Aaron Sorkin is also one of those rare artists who is truly deserving of the ‘above the line’ position.  It’s work like The Social Network, regarding the ongoing controversy surrounding the founders and inventors of Facebook, to the theatrical powerhouse made-to-tour comedy musical The Book of Mormon, among hundreds of other highly successful ventures that put Sorkin in this place of envy.  That is precisely the place those who criticize Sorkin as a person are in — Envy.  Personally, I admire him and would give my left tit to work with him.  Maybe even my right one as well.

I digress.  This article was born from a viewing of Selma and a discovery of why and how the actual MLK Jr. speeches were paraphrased in this particular film.  Selma is quite enjoyable and until I discovered the truth, made the assumption that the filmmakers purposely did not want to manipulate our heartstrings and wanted to make the film be truly a film rather than a documentary-type biopic.  With further research however, I discovered the ugly and disappointing truth.

The bottom line?  They did not use the actual speeches (even with the power of Harpo films backing them), because Dreamworks and Warner Brothers with Steven Spielberg, had been granted the rights to the speeches before them and, film studios are understandably conservative when it comes to copyright issues.  To top this unfortunate truth off, the MLK estate has been known to sue over copyright issues and this is more of a financial risk than the studios can take.

As you can see clearly from this short article I have linked for you here, even with fair use copyright laws, it is safer to err on the side of safety in the light of severe copyright penalties.  The laws actually make it difficult to practice freedom of expression and tie the hands of great directors like Ava DuVernay.  A damn shame.

I have a dream of better things for great stories to be told with complete (reasonable) freedom.  Perhaps the Spielberg film will be allowed these freedoms.  We can only hope. (I just pray that Spielberg can resist his common temptation of making yet another film about his ‘daddy’ issues #itsnotallaboutyou).   

Here’s wishing you a safe, healthy and fun MLK holiday weekend … full of freedom of speech, expression, enlightenment and moments of memorable storytelling for you and those you love.  Oh happy day.

http://www.vox.com/2015/1/13/7540027/selma-copyright-king-speeches

Also, I highly recommend the Isaacson book Jobs, especially if you plan on viewing the Sorkin film.  This book is just one great read in it’s own right.  Here’s a link for you:

http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Jobs-Walter-Isaacson-ebook/dp/B004W2UBYW/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=

— Laura Tompkins

23 Comments

AA Lies … Otherwise Known as ‘The Promises’

Have you ever heard the Promises of AA?  They are one of many sets of lies available to every disciple.

Below, you will find these Promises the cult religion of AA makes to each and every member.  There are thirteen which is highly humorous because although AA claims to have 12 steps, everyone who has been anywhere near this cult knows better.  There are 13 steps.  What is the 13th step you ask?  Sexual harassment and rape.  I wish I were exaggerating.  What do members do about it?  They justify and diminish and mock it and cover up for the criminal predator scumbag.  Even worse, they tell the victim to ‘find your part‘ in the rape and to forgive their rapist.

Yep.  So here you have the so-called Promises.  The promises are numbered.  The truth is below each one.  In bold.  That the majority of them claim a ‘we‘ and an ‘us‘ is a hallmark of a cult.  Enjoy and please share.

1.  If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through . . .

If you follow this dangerous cult religion and do not rock the boat or question any of the disempowering dogma, you will be required to stuff your instincts away and fake ‘amazement.’  And like it!

2.  We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

You will be sentenced to a cult religion for the rest of your life and as long as you believe the horrible tenets of this cult, you will never be free.  Forget about happy.  You’re a fucking alcoholic!

3.  We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

Your past was nothing but you being a selfish asshole and as long as you stay in this cult, you will never be able to let go of any regrets you may have.  Never.  Suck it up Sunshine.

4.  We will comprehend the word serenity.

You will chant Serenity!! like George Constanza’s dad in Seinfeld but chanting a word only makes one mentally disturbed in this cult of psychological violence.

5.  We will know peace.

You will never have another peaceful moment in your life but you will be able to claim and fake having peace only in meetings drinking horrible coffee, eating stale cookies and bobbing your head in agreement with seriously fucked up claims like “I am a grateful alcoholic.”  

6.  No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

Even though you are the scum of the earth, you will find salvation ‘in the roomz‘ and ONLY in the rooms if you embellish your ‘share‘ to force yourself to become ‘one of us‘ … and bring in fresh blood to the cult.  Of course.  

7.  That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

With or without our cult you are useless and full of nothing but self-pity.  Now your self-esteem will disappear as well.  Boo Hoo For You.  

8.  We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

You will be a slave to AA commitments and will spread the cult dogma wherever you go.  In fact, you will be the most annoying, preachy son of a bitch at every party you attend.  Forever.  Amen.  

9.  Self-seeking will slip away.

Your selfish ass will never again be able to say no to an AA commitment and even your family will take a backseat to your AA life.  Otherwise, you die.  Sucker.

10.  Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

You will be a walking, talking zombie for the 12 step cult.  Your brain will be useless, dead to you without the cult.  The fucking end.  

11.  Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

You will fear and pity ‘normies‘ (i.e.. anyone who has not had your fake spiritual awakening), and you will seriously consider leaving AA a large sum of money in your will.  Your family will just have to go fuck themselves.  That is, if you ever make it out of abject poverty while you are putting money ‘in the basket’ and you can NEVER leave us.  Bitch.  

12.  We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

You used to be a baffled, idiot and now you will forever be a baffled idiot … but with a head full of lies and hate for yourself and everyone else — without the right to feel the dreaded ‘resentment’ or any other normal, healthy feeling.  Too bad, how sad, you’re bad.

13.  We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

You will turn your life over to the AA god (i.e.. Bill Wilson and all the old-timer gurus), and will completely give up on a satisfying life for yourself.  

There you have it. There they are along with the truth beneath the lies labelled promises.  The subterfuge is truly brilliant and terrifying.  These promises are the opposite of help.  They are abuse, as is every single aspect of AA and the 12 steps.

Happy New Year one and all.  My hope for you and those you love is a life truly free from this dangerous and horrible cult religion commonly known as AA.

— Laura Tompkins

8 Comments

Barry Lessin, Addiction Psychologist, Changes His “Disease Theory” Approach After 40 Years

Many clinicians who work in the addiction field must learn to offer far more than the dangerous cult religion known as the 12 steps.  If a client finds the steps helpful of course, a good clinician will not discourage their choice.  However, the opposite is not practiced with the majority of addiction specialists.  Many who see clients with addiction disorders send clients to the 12 step cult.  In fact, that is virtually all they have to offer and insist, just as this cult instructs, that without AA, the client will end up in three and ONLY three places: Jail, an Institution or Dead.  No matter how AA disciples balk at this, their literature clearly states in many manipulative ways and places, that the 12 steps are the one and only way, you have a “disease” that can never be cured but only have a “daily reprieve spiritual awakening” and you are “in denial” if you chose any alternative form of help.

However, statistics clearly show this to be not only false but severely damaging to members who trade one dependence for another — the program.

Dr. Lessin has been working with this population for almost 40 years and has now had what he calls an “Ah ha” moment, when he realized how the US “drug war” has failed people miserably and a wider public health perspective is necessary. Why?  The politics of the “drug war” the 12 step cult and it’s “all-or-nothing” dogma has damaged more than helped.  He studied the statistics to discover that about half of the people who are diagnosed, or could be diagnosed, in reality “mature out” of this behavior.  He learned that not only is abstinence not the only choice but it is often times not the best choice, especially for teens.

As you will see in the article I provide here (with permission from Dr. Lessin), he found himself astounded to learn that by age 30, most people have experienced a maturation that allows them to outgrow drug problems and the risky behavior that leads them down this path.  He found himself unable to continue providing the “disease model” as it is an outright clinician error.  He also found the psychiatric disorder known as addiction to have the highest odds of recovery, than any other disorder.  Oh really?!

Is this what we have been led to believe culturally and medically?  Absolutely not. Hell no. Not with the dangerous cult religion and the billion dollar “rehab” industry as merely a front for this cult.  No way.

Dr. Lessin now clearly sees the limitations of the “disease model” and has incorporated evidence-based help in his practice.  He sees this disorder as maladaptive learning, which therefore, can be unlearned and replaced with healthier choices.  If you can learn a coping mechanism, you can learn a different one when the one you are practicing is not working.  Not only is abstinence not the only choice, it is not the choice of most people who can and do successfully moderate their behavior..  Dr. Lessin is now providing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Motivational Interviewing for his clients.  He no longer sees everyone who presents with a problem as potentially “diseased” and their only choice is complete cessation of substance use. He is no longer labeling the family as “diseased” and is helping the entire family learn to adapt and grow together, rather than shipping someone to a 12 step rehab that only allows the client to chase his own tail for the rest of his life.

He admits now that the “disease theory” is a label that is particularly damaging to teens and that is indisputable.

I can expand that and say unequivocally that labeling anyone, no matter their age, as an “alcoholic” or “addict” causes extreme cognitive dissonance.  This negative labeling has proven to be the cause of depression, anxiety, suicide, bingeing on drugs, vulnerability to crimes of violence and financial scams, and keeps people tied to a cult religion rather than provide them tools to make better choices and move on with their lives.  However, moving on with their lives is precisely what most people do, in spite of this cult dogma.  Sadly and chronically, for those unfortunate enough to become indoctrinated by this cult of subterfuge, the road out is a long, fear-filled, bumpy journey.  This cult religion causes people to fear their own ability to think and the deprogramming that must happen before steppers can truly move on, is extensive.

Dr. Lessin is now empowering clients and their families for the best chance at a full recovery, or in clinical terms a Full Sustained Remission.  In any 12 step group, a full sustained remission is completely impossible.  Any clinician who provides nothing but the 12 step cult religion is in serious danger of a malpractice claim and a license revocation.

Consider yourselfs warned clinicians.  I thank Dr. Lessin for his bravery and honesty.  He does not mention the 12 step cult in the article recently published in rehabs dot com and that is a smart move.  If he had, as I do here, he most certainly would have been attacked and threatened by steppers.  They are taught their program is perfect and if you fail to achieve this perfect “spiritual” sobriety, it is your fault because you are not doing it right, enough or are not being honest. Therefore, anyone who exposes the truth is a sworn enemy and must be destroyed.

No.  I completely reject that notion.  What Dr. Lessin has done with this article is highly brave and I admire him very much.  Now you can too.

http://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-articles/helping-teens-with-substance-use-problems-why-i-changed-my-approach/

— Laura Tompkins

6 Comments

Fake ASAM ‘Doctors’ Push AA Cult For Profit

Please listen to this podcast interviewing Dr. Michael Langan.  This is very important to understand.  AA is a dangerous cult and even doctors are not safe.  Either join the cult or your license is in jeopardy.  This is the opposite of help.  This is abuse and indoctrination.  This must stop.    Thank you to Dr. Langan for his bravery.

http://wemfradio.com/2014/12/06/the-young-jurks-episode-12-06-14/#comment-11859

The following is the website of these criminals who are forcing this cult religion on people.
http://www.likemindeddocs.com/home.html

— Laura Tompkins

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